I hate it when you're walking and all of the sudden you feel pairs of eyes just staring at you. When you turn around to look hoping that you're just being paranoid and you see them just staring at you and pointing at you. And walking past near them they just say your name out loud and start talking about you. The worst thing about this is that the people who are talking about you are people who you used to be so close with and you used to share so many secrets with. And now you're just scared that maybe they'll say something that you don't really want them to tell anyone. Now you're just hoping that they didn't say anything and that you can still trust them.

It's funny how we used to be so close and now we never talk even when we walk past each other we don't say hi. Sometimes I just feel like going up to you all and just talk for awhile but I'm scared. Every time I want to do that I just have that feeling in my stomach and a voice that says maybe this isn't a good idea, maybe I should just wait for a little bit longer. However I will wait a bit longer and see how it turns out then. Maybe then I would have the guts to go up to them or maybe you'll come talk to me.

I will still keep my hopes up but it won't be long until that hope has gone away and it will never come back.

I'm still the same person as I was before but maybe just a little bit more sensible, I haven't changed that much. Just give me a chance to prove that. I know it probably won't change your mind but atleast I know I gave it a try to become your friend again. We don't have to be best friends and just friends that talk a little bit when they see each other....

At first I thought it would be a great idea moving back to England because I've had enough of the half-desert life but I know that I would miss my friends.

Leaving Bahrain was not as hard as I thought it would be. I thought I would cry leaving my friends but I didn't. Its not because I wouldn't miss them, I do miss them so much, everytime going to my lessons here in England I would think of them wishing they were here. But I guess I didn't cry because deep down inside of me I know that I will see them again, maybe not in a few months but in the near future.

I thought coming back to England was going to be fun, seeing all my friends who I was so close once. But now when its actually happening its not that fun. Seeing them again its awkward, they've changed and have grown so much and I thought that most of them wouldn't have remembered me but surprisingly quite a few of them did. I have a quite a few classes with some them and I hang out with one of them everyday, walking to and from school. Some days its walking to and from school with her is quiet its probably because we still not used to each other yet, it has only been 1 week, so not much to expect yet.

In this one week of school it has been strange. First everything is different the school changed with new buildings and new systems. Then everyone changed and is different and still not used to the idea of me being back in England yet. Hopefully it will change soon but personally I don't it will because some of them pretend like they don't know me even though they do remember me. Especially those who used to be soo close with me, but I guess people do change.

I just wish every thing could be the same again just like before I left even if its only for one day. I would be satisfied. But I know it would never be the same again.