I know I said that I would be updating on the weird/stupid dreams I’ve had but the truth is I’ve forgotten them now.. Sorrry!

Anyway the next update will be about my adventures in Berlin, Moscow and St.Petersburg but all I’ve got to say now is that the trip was pretty funny and you had to be there to understand the jokes that I will be telling soon.. ;DD

But for now what I have to say is that MY HEART HAS MOVED ON! And MY I really hope you will too cause I hurts me more when I see my best friend(s) in pain.. L

First week of the new term..

28^th of Feb

A day that not to be remember because it was that boring. Boring first day back at school, although the whole day was filled with the joy of having P in all my lessons.

1^st of March

Pinch punch first day of the month. This is not the same anymore with my wifeyy here… L

Found out something that was a bit of a shock to me to be honest. After I.T MY and I was walking behind one of P’s friend, H and knowing me I wanted to know to truth whether of not he actually does like me, so I asked MY to H about it. So then MY was like ‘yeah ok, I’ll go ask H’. She walked to him and said, ‘H, does P like M?’ and his response to her question was, ‘I don’t think so, it was probably just a joke that HMV (a nickname for a guy I really dislike because he bullies me….) made up.’

And then there was me, who was only about 4 steps away laughing and telling MY, ‘I told you it was a joke…..’ But to be honest I didn’t really want to laugh at that. I was actually quite hurt, at that moment I felt like my heart was being ripped out slowly and painfully by him. L And ever since that moment my day has been going down the hill.

2^nd of March

Day 2 after the being told that the guy who liked me is actually joking and worst of all he’s working with my worst enemy. Yep that’s right. H.M.V! :@ Every time I hear that name, it makes me angry. The thing I don’t get is that P doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would join in this kind of jokes and the fact that there’s a chance of him being that kind of person makes me feel disappointed in him because I feel like he should know better than that.

Anyway just before History, I was talking to another one of P’s friend, W and because I still couldn’t believe that P would joke about that kind of thing so I asked him for his opinion, as in whether he thinks it’s true or false. And he replied saying its probably not true because P is the kind of guy who would just go to school and learn and nothing else. But it still doesn’t help me to figure my question out which is why he would go along with HMV’s joke? Does he think its funny to do that to someone too? Or does it mean he actually does like me? Haih… I’m so confuzzled. :S

3^rd and the 4^th of March

These 2 days has been quite boring to be honest.. But in both lessons of Chemistry I had in those two days was pretty hilarious because of the conversation that TFF, CI and I had. LOL..

Anyway I will update again soon about the weird dreams that I’ve been having lately… Some are quite funny but some are awkward and some are just plain stupid… So you lot better watch out for the next update.. :P xx

School starts on Monday...

Getting mixed feelings about it...

Half of me is excited to go and the other half is reluctant to go...

Due to various of reasons but in particular one main reason...

Really wonder what is going to happen next?

Apparently MY says she is going to tell P that I like him but I doubt she will remember and will even talk to him..lol..

PS/ for those of you who are reading this, am I really that scary to talk to? Or am I easy to talk to? Please do comment, would love to hear your thoughts about it all.. :) x

It’s been 5 days since I last saw him and I miss him. I wonder how he is? I wonder if he’s changed…

For the past few days every time I see the name P anywhere, I immediately think of him and when I do, I get this funny feeling. Funny feelings in my stomach that makes my body feel ticklish and makes me smile. And to be quiet honest I’ve not known of having that feeling before, not even when I liked B or TFF (nickname for that person). Could he be the one? But aren’t I still too young to have found the one.

I wonder if he knows he makes me very confuzzled ? (My way of saying confused and puzzled in one word even though they both probably mean the same thing, when putting it in this concept.)

Anyway asked my dad if we could hang out the weekend after next and he said yeah that’s fine but not alone obviously so going to ask other people to come. But I don’t know if I have enough courage to do it though. To be honest even if we both like each other I still wouldn’t go out with him because we don’t even know each other that well! I would rather be friends than have a bad relationship. Anyway we will see what happens next. Hopefully it will be a good thing.. :D

Truth

I want to hear the truth

I want to know the truth

I don't care whether it's a sad or happy

All I want to know is if the rumour that's going round is true or false

So that I can carry on to the next step, whether it's to forget you or remember you.

If its false and that you're friends are making it up, I don't think it was very nice. Especially when they are messing with people's feelings and hurt them.

So can you please tell me the truth the next time I see you?

To be honest I really want to go to prom but none of my friends are going. And if I do go to prom I would be on my own and probably be sitting in a corner looking like and being a loner.

Talking about prom, according to C, P was going to ask me to prom but he didn’t. Anyway he’s too late now because the deadline for paying for prom is on the 25^th of Feb and I won’t be seeing him until the 28^th..lol… so no chance of going to prom now.

Well I told my parents about the week and about P as well.. Mum was actually going to let me go to prom with him provided that he comes to the house and meet them first..lol.. but at that time I was thinking to myself well that was not going to happen cause I doubt he would want to come and meet my parents..lol.. it would be so embarrassing for me. But just imagine if he actually did come and meet my parents.. It would have been embarrassing but at the same time I know my parents would like him cause he’s really nice, polite and very smart so he can help me study and stop my bad habits, like going on FB everyday..lol.. well anyway I do think my parents would like him.

But I wish my parents was not that protective.. I wish they would just let me have a boyfriend. I think I’m ready to have a boyfriend..lol.. but it would be nice to experience it. And I don’t think P is the kind of guy who would break up with a girl just because of a small thing and I think he would talk it out and see if we can fix the problem. Anyway I will just have to wait til that day comes…

Talking about studying I had a dream about someone tutoring the other day.. Guess who that person who was tutoring me was? Yes.. that’s right it was P! hahah..

Anyway in the dream I was at home talking to my parents about having a tutor to help me revise and study about a subject that I don’t understand and then my stepdad was like ‘well I can help tutor you’ but then I told him I was actually talking about someone else.. you know just to have some quality time with him and to get to know him better. Well anyway my mum was a bit reluctant about it at first but then gave in and said I can ask him over on Saturday to tutor me.. The next scene in my dream was that I was in school talking to P. In the dream I was still shy but manage to ask him anyway. So then I asked him if he can come over to help tutor me and his friend who was next to him was making fun of him..lol. just because I was talking to him and asked him to help me.lol..well anyway he said he would help me and said he would come over on Saturday… I was quite happy in that moment..lol..

The next thing I knew was that I was at home getting ready for him to come and help me study.. then he knocked on the door and I went to open the door for him and well he met my parents and they were quite nice to him and didn’t even try to embarrass me.. lol.. well anyway I put all the revision stuff I need on the dining the table so that my mum knows that we’re not doing any ‘funny business’..hahah.. anyway he was teaching me physics/maths and from the corner of my eye I saw my parents peeking at us, working..lol. after a while, P held my hand and my face went kinda red and then I remembered that my parents was watching so I turned around to see if they were still there.. When I turned to see, there was no one there which made me feel relieved..lol.. then as I turned back round, P’s face was right next to mine and everything was silent, like we were all alone and in a different planet. We started to gaze into each other’s eyes (yes.. it is a bit cheesy but it was like in a movie.. xD ) well anyway he moved his head closer to mine and was about to kiss me.. but then I stopped him.. ^_^

Well I don’t know what happened net because that was when I woke up…hahah.. was kind of disappointed because I wanted to know the ending for it.. xD

Well I hope it was a good ending..

Well here’s another dream for you.. but this time it was not my dream.. it was MY’s dream that she had yesterday..lol.. I don’t even know why she was dreaming about me and P..lol.. well anyway in her dream I was apparently going up to P to talk to him even though he was busy playing basketball..lol.. anyhow I went up to tell him that I like him.. MY said that P didn’t say anything but just hugged me after a few seconds of what I told him.. she said that she turned around to look at something else because she didn’t want to be a ‘third wheel’ because she said that we were like in a different world.. this was the part which I thought was quite funny..lol..well anyway she turned around and JR (an ex-crush of hers..) was behind her and he went and gave her a hug all of the sudden..lol.. I thought that bit was quite cute.. ^_^ I think her and JR would make such a good couple.. :D

Well that’s it with dreams..lol.. Dreams are dreams.. they would not come true.. so you can have them but don’t get excited over them because not all of them end in a happy way or even come true for that fact.

Well that’s it for now.. will update you soon if there’s anything interesting going on.. ;D

PS/ would it be weird if I said I already miss him even though I saw him yesterday? ^_^

Valentine's Week Starting from 14th of Feb

It’s been awhile since I last blogged but I’ve decided that I will only blog if there it’s necessary for example if there is something going through my mind that I need to get out of my system or something I think is important… So it’s going to start today and if there is any names that need to be said I will use a letter instead of putting their real name, for safety purposes and I don’t really want to name them here…

Monday 14^th February

Usually this day is the worst day of my life as I spend it all alone (well relationship wise), well this year I did sort of spent it alone but something weird happened that day. It all started in my Geography lesson when my friend, S turned around and said she knows someone that likes me and apparently that person was also in that same lesson. However I didn’t seem that keen on believing what she said because I have a feeling that she was joking. So I was just playing along and asked her questions about it like, ‘who is it?’, ‘where did you hear it from?’ and all those questions you would usually ask someone. Well I tried guessing who that person she is victimising but she just wouldn’t want to tell me so I just left it as it is. Apparently she got told this fact in maths by someone else who overheard a conversation being said. Well I didn’t pursued on any longer, so I left it.

Tuesday 15^th February

Tuesday was quite an interesting day as straight after school I had a driving lesson/ class thing as it was a reward system for students when they have been working really hard and polite to everyone and well basically things like that. I’ve already been nominated 3 times and apparently you were only supposed to do it once or twice. Lol.. oh well.. ;D

Anyway after the driving, I was waiting for mum to come pick me up, my other friend, M came to talk to me while she waited for her mum to pick her up too. Then she asked if I was going to prom and I said no because no-one of my group of friends are going so I don’t really want to go and stand in a corner looking like a loner, so obviously I’m not going. But then she seemed surprise of me not going and all of a sudden she said she will set me up with someone because she knew someone who likes me. So then I told her, she wasn’t the only one who knows that someone likes me. I told her S told me but didn’t tell me who it was. She only told me that someone in Maths overheard a conversation that the guy had with his friends. M then told me that it was her that overheard the conversation which happened on Monday morning in biology. Apparently she heard my name being said so she turned around to see what was happening and to find out why my name was being said. Well she said the boys was just talking about something and then one of them asked the guy that apparently likes me, P if he likes me and he didn’t answer. She said they even gave him time to deny and he still didn’t say anything but instead his face went a bit red..lol.. When she told me who it was I was kind of shock because this guy is someone who I would never thought would like me because he is the kind of person who is really smart and well basically good at everything. I don’t think he would like me because I’m not even smart eventho I may be in top set of most things doesn’t mean I’m smart at it or even understand the subject!...So I tried to forget it and pretend like it didn’t happen.

Wednesday 16^th February

The whole day I felt really awkward cause P was in all my lessons on that day. I really wanted to forget it but it was quite hard to forget something like that. Well anyway I acted as normal as I could the whole day until the last period, when someone else, C told me the same thing! At that point I got really paranoid because I didn’t know what to believe or what not to believe. During that double period lesson I felt so uncomfortable because everyone that was close to me could hear what that other friend so they were talking about it. Last but not least P was actually in that class and was in my view, which meant that he could see me and I could see him. Then after the first half of the lesson P’s best friend, D was talking to the girl who told me in that lesson something, he then turned, looked at me and then laughed. That made me even more uncomfortable because by then I could feel that my face was burning up and it was becoming quite red. I then had to ask where she heard it from.. Apparently she heard it from him itself from French lesson the day before. She said that they was just talking about prom and she randomly asked everyone on her table who they are going with. P said nobody but then D told him to tell the truth and so he said ‘me’… that made the day even more awkward..lol..

Thursday 17^th February

The day, when I found out that almost everyone in my half of the year knows that P likes me. At first I really don’t believe it but in the end I sort of do. It was funny how his friends are making fun of him cause he likes a person..lol. this may sound mean but I think it’s a bit cute..lol.. but he’s not the only one that is getting make fun of by their friends, cause my friends are doing the same thing! Lol… anyway we were going out of physics and I was holding the door and he walked past and being polite as he always was he said thank you and his friend who was waiting for him outside went ‘ oh.. P you just talked to your admirer’ ..lol.. I was trying so hard not to laugh at that point..lol.. Then in French we had this little test and was asked to put our stuff at the front of the room to make sure no one cheats, so we did that and I sort of put my stuff a bit away from everybody else’s so that I can get to it quicker when we finished. At the end of the test we were allowed to go as it was the end of the lesson, so I went to get my stuff and only realised at the point that he put his stuff onto of my..lol.. it was quite embarrassing cause he was behind me waiting for me to get my things and I had to move his basketball out the way cause it was on top of my bag I moved it away and the ball rolled backwards and I had to try and stop it, which I manage to do without falling over..lol..

Friday 18^th February

Today was an alright day cause everyone forgot about it.. well except me obviously..lol.. Well I tried talking to him today and failed badly because no words wanted to come out my mouth..lol.. ^_^

At the end of the day I asked my MY to do me a favour and ask him if he the rumour that everyone is spreading is true but he didn’t want to tell her…lol.. well I was infront of them because MY said that if I was with her, he might not want to answer her so I walked away. But in the end she didn’t even get an answer cause he didn’t want to talk about it..lol.. but while I was waiting for them outside he walked in front and had the cheekiest smile on his face and now I can’t get it out..lol..

MY and I came to a conclusion that I like him too. Well to be honest I actually liked him before this incident happened because I thought he was a really nice person with a very good personality, which I quite like in a guy. No-one actually knew that I liked him before..lol.. so if MY u are reading this sorry I didn’t tell you.. xD

But the problem was that P and I rarely ever talk so I don’t actually know him.. and he don’t actually know me.. except the fact that he and I took exactly the same subjects for GCSE..which I thought is quite funny and embarrassing because he is in almost all my lessons except English, RE, IT and Citizenship..

Well anyway that’s basically it.. this was what happened to me the whole week. I wonder if he would still like me after the half term holiday, which is only a week…lol!

If anyone’s got any suggestions on what to do next please comment and help me…. I would really appreciate your help.. ;D

Thank you in advance…. :) xx